Every time you make something for someone, another love story is created. It makes you feel good and it makes them feel good. This is why we sew.
Written by Jane Harbison, sewing pattern and fabric designer specialising in boys' and men's clothing, colour tools and wearable handmade gifts.
There are many reasons that feeling loved is good for you, but here are five that endure:
When we make something for someone, we make them feel loved.
Oh what a feeling!
It is easy to say feeling loved does these five things but how does it do it?
I thought I would elaborate a little on each of them and provide a link to a clever framework to understand our relationships well at the end.
Feeling loved can improve well-being and happiness by releasing chemicals in the brain such as oxytocin and dopamine, which are associated with pleasure and contentment.
When we feel loved, we feel more secure and valued, which can lead to a greater sense of self-worth and overall satisfaction with life.
Additionally, receiving love and support from others can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and can make it easier to cope with difficult situations.
The positive emotions and sense of belonging that come with feeling loved can also have a ripple effect, leading to greater resilience and overall well-being.
Feeling loved can improve self-esteem and confidence by providing validation and reinforcement of one's worth and value as a person.
When we feel loved, we feel like we matter to someone else and that we have something to offer.
This can help to counteract negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy, and can increase our sense of self-worth and self-acceptance.
The love and support from others can make it easier to take risks and try new things.
I think we have all experienced how it feels taking action regardless of the outcome. It can lead to greater self-confidence and self-assurance from having a go.
When receiving love and support from people who are important to us, can lead to a better understanding of our own worth and capabilities. This can ultimately lead to feeling more comfortable with who we are, and more confidence in our abilities and decisions.
Firstly, when we feel loved, we tend to be more open and responsive to others, which can foster deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Love also promotes trust and mutual understanding, which are essential for building strong and lasting connections with others.
Moreover, when we feel loved, we tend to be more generous and compassionate towards others, which can help to build stronger social connections and more harmonious communities.
People who feel loved often feel more inclined to help others, volunteer and be more active in their communities. This can lead to a sense of purpose and fulfillment, and can also contribute to a greater sense of social connectedness and belonging.
Love can also lead to healthier relationships by providing emotional support and a sense of security, which can help to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. This can lead to more positive interactions and a greater ability to navigate conflicts and challenges in relationships.
All in all, love plays a key role in creating and maintaining healthy relationships and social connections.
Love can promote physical and emotional healing in several ways.
Firstly, the release of chemicals such as oxytocin and dopamine, which are associated with pleasure and contentment, can help to reduce stress and promote relaxation. This can lead to improved sleep, better immune function, and a reduced risk of chronic health conditions such as heart disease and hypertension.
Secondly, feeling loved can provide a sense of security and safety, which can help to reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
Love and support can also provide a sense of belonging and connection, which can help to counteract feelings of loneliness and isolation. This can lead to greater resilience and better overall mental health.
Additionally, love and emotional support can help to promote emotional healing and growth, particularly in the aftermath of traumatic events. The presence of loved ones can provide a sense of comfort and stability, which can help to facilitate the healing process. Love can also provide a sense of validation, and can help to counteract feelings of shame and
self-doubt.
Lastly, love can be a powerful motivator for self-care and self-improvement. When we feel loved, we tend to have a greater sense of self-worth, which can make it easier to set and achieve personal goals. This can lead to better overall physical and emotional well-being.
All in all, love plays a crucial role in promoting physical and emotional healing. It creates a sense of security, belonging and validation that is essential for healing process.
Love can provide a sense of security and safety by creating a sense of trust and understanding between individuals.
In a fascinating interview between Donald Miller and Mike Foster, author of the book “7 Primal Questions” talking about a set of core questions that subconsciously drive our choices, actions and triggers. The questions are:
When we can answer ‘Yes’ to
any of these questions then we are calm to make good choices. Mike Foster suggests when we
answer ‘No’ to our primal question, then a scramble ensues. We choose compromising actions and behaviours that drive our answer back to a Yes.
I think when we make something for someone, it is such a calm, foundational way to say I love you and make someone feel safe.
When we feel loved, we feel like we matter to someone else, and that we have someone we can rely on.
This can provide a sense of comfort and reassurance, making it easier to cope with difficult situations. I see this with my 7 year old son. It means so much to him that he feels believed by us, who love him, when others don't. There is relief in his face.
Furthermore, a loving and supportive partner or family can provide a sense of safety and security in the sense of being protected, cared for and having someone to share the burden of life with. Having a loved one to share the joys and sorrows of life with, can make life feel more manageable and less daunting.
If you like listening to podcasts, the interview spans over two episodes and is a practical yet light lesson in understanding relationships well.
No matter what you have made him, be assured it means a lot to him. It may not be in the moment, but in time, he will reflect upon it and will treasure it.
Almost every time I mention I design fabrics and sewing patterns for men, to men, they share a childhood story of their mother or grandmother making their clothes for them.
You can see the fondness they have for the memory in their face.
When we nail a hand-made gift it makes us feel proud and them feel loved. Watch him smile.
