What if your clothes could help you influence the world around you—for good?
Here’s the idea we’re exploring:
- I’ve always believed looking good helps us feel good—and that matters.
- But dressing well can do more than boost confidence. It can increase your ability to lead, connect, and create change.
- This happens when your style reflects charisma: a balance of warmth (how approachable you feel) and competence (how trustworthy and capable you appear).
- I first learnt this from Vanessa Van Edwards at The Science of People—and it’s a game changer. (read her book "Captivate")
Why this matters for sewers like us:
- Charisma makes others more open to our ideas and creativity (I will explain).
- It helps us share our work in a way that feels authentic and meaningful.
- And yes, you can express it through what you wear.
In this blog, I’ll show you:
- How different garments, fabrics, and colours can signal warmth or competence
- Ways to use your handmade wardrobe to dial up what you need most
- How to create balance and even add bold colour or pattern once you find your sweet spot
Before we start, want to know where you sit on the charisma scale?
Take this quiz by The Science of People. It is quick, insightful, and incredibly useful.
Here’s What You’ll Take Away From This Blog:
- Identify where you sit on the charisma scale using the Warmth + Competence framework—and take Vanessa's quiz to back it up.
- Learn how to use fabric, colour, and fit to either dial up your warmth, boost your competence, or strike a balance between the two.
- Apply these ideas to your sewing practice by choosing one garment to make that reflects the trait you want to express more of.
- Use the 5-colour capsule wardrobe method to confidently combine boldness and balance in your everyday outfits.
What Is Charisma and Why Does It Matter?
Let’s break charisma down into something simple and practical.
- Charisma isn’t about being loud or outgoing.
- It’s the balance of two key traits:
- Warmth – How approachable, kind, and emotionally intelligent you seem.
- Competence – How confident, capable, and knowledgeable you appear.
- This balance is what makes others feel both safe and inspired around you.
Certainly, there are people who seem naturally charismatic.
- It’s like they popped out of the womb with a bucket load of it.
- But for many, maybe most, that’s not the case.
- All is not lost. Everyone is born with some charisma…just not always in big, obvious doses.
The good news?
- Charisma isn’t something you’re stuck with. It’s a skill you can learn and grow.
- Vanessa Van Edwards and her team at The Science of People have shown that charisma can be practised and strengthened over time.
- And when you have a little too much of one you can tip the scales back toward the middle by dialling up the other in a way that is natural to you.
Why it matters:
- Charisma makes people want to listen to you, learn from you, and join you. This is invaluable when you want to bring about change. There are many sewers passionate about causes such as slow fashion, the environment and getting him to pick his socks off the bedroom floor.
- It helps creative people, like us pitch new ideas, rally support, and lead projects.
- It makes the new or unfamiliar feel possible because we trust the person sharing it.
- As a result charismatic people can bring about change for good.
Here’s the cool part:
- The more creative risks we take, the more stories we have to share.
- The more stories we share, the more connected we become.
- That connection? It builds our charisma even further. (a classic example of compound interest - great investment)
Dressing for Warmth
Warmth is what makes people feel at ease in your presence. It’s the you’re safe here quality. When your clothing reflects warmth, it invites connection.
What Warmth Looks and Feels Like
- Approachable – soft fabrics, gentle colours, relaxed shapes
- Comfortable – outfits that feel lived-in, without being sloppy
- Emotionally intelligent – layering, texture, and colour used thoughtfully
- Kind and human – nothing too stiff, harsh, or overpowering
Fabric Types That Signal Warmth
Think tactile, breathable and natural:
- Linen and linen blends – relaxed but sophisticated; breathes well and softens with wear
- Cotton voile, lawn, and brushed cotton – light and airy, perfect for warm climates
- Cotton jersey or interlock – for knit tees that feel cosy and familiar
- Twill and seersucker – adds gentle structure without looking too polished
- Silk and Satin - in small doses, the gentle sheen of silk or satin gives a glow that softens your overall appearance. The smoothness invites touch and feels personal.
Warm Colour Suggestions
(Depending on your colour type, adjust these tones accordingly.)
- Olive, soft rust, muted mustard, gentle blue, warm taupe, burnt coral, cream
- Earthy or sun-washed colours feel nurturing and grounded
Garment Styles That Communicate Warmth
Go for relaxed tailoring, slightly rounded edges, and layering potential:
- Camp collar shirt – in linen or lightweight cotton with a fluid drape
- Chore jacket or field jacket – especially in washed canvas or twill
- Pull-on trousers – like drawstring linen pants or elastic-back chinos
- Knit polos or tees – in cotton jersey or bamboo blends
- Shirt jackets – combining the ease of a shirt with the warmth of a jacket
Sewing Style Tip
Use flat-felled or French seams where visible. These small touches signal thoughtfulness and care, which reinforce warmth. I was recently asked how to remove the rub from the inner leg of the boxer short pattern. A French seam is one way to do this.
Dressing for Competence
Competence signals that you know what you’re doing and that others can trust you to do it well. In clothing, this comes through clarity, structure, and polish.
What Competence Looks and Feels Like
- Confident – well-fitted garments, clean lines, strong shapes
- Capable – tailored silhouettes, purposeful choices
- Polished – neat hems, pressed seams, structured collars
- Professional – fabric and fit that hold their shape
Fabric Types That Signal Competence
Look for fabrics with structure, sharp drape or a slight sheen:
- Poplin or broadcloth – crisp and clean, great for shirts
- Cotton sateen – adds subtle sheen and firmness
- Wool suiting or lightweight gabardine – ideal for blazers or trousers
- Denim or canvas – when used in darker shades with sharp finishing
- Linen-cotton blends – a summer alternative that still holds its shape
Competence Colour Suggestions
- Navy, charcoal, deep olive, midnight blue, white, stone grey, black
- Crisp neutrals or deep, cool tones communicate authority and clarity
Garment Styles That Communicate Competence
Choose garments with clear structure, clean design lines, and minimal fuss:
- Tailored button-up shirts – with a crisp collar and firm fabric
- Blazers – especially unlined linen or cotton for a handmade twist
- Flat-front trousers or chinos – with defined waistband and sharp crease
- Structured jackets – with topstitching or subtle tailoring details
- Collared polos or henley shirts – in structured knits
Competence doesn’t always mean stiff or overly formal. Relaxed garments can still communicate confidence when they’re intentional, through fit, fabric choice and finishing. A clean, well-made polo or even a henley shirt can say just as much as a button-up, especially in warmer or casual settings like here in Brisbane.
Sewing Style Tip
Topstitching and pressing are your secret weapons. Neat edges and defined seams at the right widths do more than make your garment look professional, they make you look capable. When in doubt, take a well-made shirt that is in your wardrobe and examine it. Learn from the masters.
The Power of Balance – When Warmth Meets Competence
When you hit that sweet spot between warmth and competence, your style feels effortless—and people respond to you without even knowing why. That’s charisma.
This is where things get fun. Because once you're in balance, you have the confidence to experiment with bolder elements like colour, pattern, or texture. You can push your creative expression a little further while still being seen, heard, and trusted.
What Balanced Style Looks and Feels Like
- Approachable, yet polished
- Relaxed, but intentional
- A sense of ease with an edge of leadership
For the sewers think: the soft texture of a linen shirt together with the clean lines of tailored trousers. Put that with a 'slow reveal smile" and you have magic!
Outfit Formulas That Balance Both Traits
- A camp collar shirt in soft linen (warmth) with structured chino trousers (competence)
- A sharp button-down shirt (competence) in a warm neutral or pastel tone (warmth)
- A lightweight unstructured blazer over a knit tee or patterned shirt
- Dark denim jeans with a neatly topstitched casual jacket in brushed cotton
- A tailored suit with a button-down shirt—and a pop of colour in the tie, pocket square or socks. This subtle flash of warmth doesn’t undermine competence; it adds depth, personality, and confidence.
How Colour Helps You Express Balance
Once you’ve found your footing, you can start introducing more colour into your wardrobe with intention. My capsule wardrobe method includes five colour categories that can help you build charismatic combinations:
- Bold – Your personality piece. Adds energy and individuality.
- Complementary – Harmonises with the bold colour for a confident contrast.
- Neutral – Anchors your outfit and keeps it versatile.
- Dark – Adds depth and communicates quiet authority.
- Light – Brings softness, space, and approachability.
A balanced outfit might look like:
- Neutral chinos + a bold, patterned camp collar shirt + a dark linen blazer
- Light chambray shirt + dark jeans + complementary-coloured knit pullover
- Bold pocket square or hat paired with an otherwise calm, competent look
How the 60-30-10 Rule Helps You Style With Ease
The 60-30-10 rule is not to be confused with the five-colour capsule wardrobe method I mentioned above. That’s your long-term strategy. A way to choose five versatile colour categories for your wardrobe overall: bold, complementary, neutral, dark, and light.
The 60-30-10 rule, on the other hand, is your daily outfit guide.
It’s a classic formula used in fashion and interior design that helps you achieve balance in any individual look:
- 60% – your dominant colour (usually your neutral or base)
- 30% – your secondary colour (often your complementary or dark tone)
- 10% – your accent colour (this is where your bold or pop shade can shine—think a tie, pocket square, socks, shirt detail or shoes and belt)
By working from your five-colour capsule palette, this rule becomes effortless to apply when you get dressed in the morning. You’ve already chosen colours that work well together—now the 60-30-10 rule helps you wear them with confidence and balance.
How Pattern Adds Personality
As well as colour you can add pattern that compliments your personality.
- Bold patterns – like florals, geometric prints, or painterly stripes—inject energy and creativity
- Subtle patterns – such as fine checks, herringbone, or tone-on-tone stripes—add depth without demanding attention
- If you’re more competent-leaning, a pattern can dial up your warmth. If you’re naturally warm, a structured silhouette or monochrome base can add clarity and focus.
Final Thoughts
Charisma isn’t about being someone you’re not. It’s about finding the right balance between warmth and competence and letting that balance show up in how you carry yourself, speak, and yes even in what you wear.
As sewers, we have a unique advantage: we can create that balance through the garments we sew. Every fabric choice, every seam, every colour — it all tells a story.
One that says, you can trust me (competence), and you’re welcome here (warmth).
So if you’re feeling too heavy on one side, maybe all comfort and no clarity, or all polish and no approachability, use your wardrobe to bring things into alignment. Especially if you have an event coming up that needs your influence.
The clothes you sew aren’t just functional or fashionable. They’re powerful cues.
They help people feel what you’re about, before you’ve even say a word.
Ready to put this into practice?
- Take Vanessa's Charisma Quiz to find your balance
- Choose one garment to sew this season that reflects the trait you want to dial up— warmth or competence
- And if you're building a capsule wardrobe that truly reflects your personality, check out The Fabric Formula. It will help you choose colours that work for you.
- Want something right now! Download the Colour of the Season Palette (below) for wardrobe coordination inspiration.
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